What's So Great About Being Busy All The Time?

Turns out radiation leaves me wrecked. I am running on low batteries, my friends. Anything not required for basic survival is being given a bloodshot glance of dismissal from me. Including writing. And probably mailing out Christmas cards. Which, normally, are two activities that give me quite a lot of pleasure. Now, they just look like work. I am trying to give myself the grace to NOT do things. And to not feel badly about not doing things. 

Can We Stop Glorifying Busy, Already?!

Photo by Andreas Klassen on Unsplash

Ever feel like being busy has become the modern equivalent of �living life to the fullest?� We�re obsessed with being busy. It�s in vogue.

It�s also a drag.

Look at the way we talk - autopilot kicks in when people ask about our weekend -- �It was good, just busy.� We don�t even notice ourselves saying it because it�s become such an ingrained dimension of how we interpret our worth. If we say we�re busy, we must be productive. If we�re productive, we must be a worthwhile human being.  

I say it. All the time. Even when I KNOW I haven�t done a bloody thing for 3 consecutive days. As if declaring my busyness proves, cancer be damned, I am STILL a contributing member of society.

After my daily morning treatment, one of my radiation techs will often ask about my plans for the rest of the day. I�m weirdly relieved when I have a number of errands I can rattle off. Or a family outing we have planned for the weekend.

Today I had nothing. Literally, nothing. And I was bizarrely embarrassed to admit that.

�So, Liz -- any plans for today?�

�Nope. Um. Nope. Nothing. Just going home. To. Rest?�

Inside, of course, I was thrilled to finally have a day with nothing I HAD to do. Thrilled and ashamed.

This time of year, especially, we run around like chickens with our heads cut off, and we�re happy to do it because it makes us feel important and needed and valuable. We wear our busyness like a badge of honor: I am so crazy busy, man! My presence is in high demand! I am carpe-dieming the sh*t out of life!

But --

how exactly does running ourselves ragged contribute to our well-being?

It doesn�t. It makes us stressed and miserable. I don�t want to be stressed and miserable.

And I�m not talking about our jobs or taking care of our kids or any of the things we HAVE to do. You should really keep doing those things. But we can probably free up a few spaces in our calendars to just do precisely nothing.

Good Things Happen When We Stop Trying To Do It All

Photo by Nine K�pfer on Unsplash

When we�re not distracted by a relentless flurry of activity, something really cool happens: we connect, we reflect, and we grow. Three things I'd wager that are more important (and fun and pleasurable) than an overbooked planner.

When we slow down and stop pretending like being busy is the only measure of success - that�s when most of our �a-ha� moments occur. Stepping off the hamster wheel for a minute gives us clarity. Eliminating some of our self-imposed busyness opens us up to truly appreciate the things we insist are important to us - like quiet, leisurely moments spent with the people we love, watching our children delight in nature, and a rich inner life.

I don�t like to credit cancer with enriching my life (cancer didn�t make me grow - I did), but treatments did force me to reevaluate how I spend my time and energy. There were moments during the last year when I felt like I was juggling a dozen swords and flaming torches while balancing on a unicycle. I was exhausted and frazzled. But when I stopped long enough to see what was going on, I realized that much of my exhaustion and general frazzled-ness were the result of activities I didn�t NEED to do. (that and chemo running through my veins. But mindless busyness, mostly.)

There is value and opportunity for growth in the calm moments when our busyness comes to a screeching halt. I know that sounds like the advice you�d get from a bearded, blissed-out mountain guru, but I stand by it.

A few years ago, Tim Kreider wrote a hugely popular and insightful article called �The �Busy� Trap� for the New York Times. In it he says:

�Idleness is not just a vacation, an indulgence or a vice; it is as indispensable to the brain as vitamin D is to the body, and deprived of it we suffer a mental affliction as disfiguring as rickets. The space and quiet that idleness provides is a necessary condition for standing back from life and seeing it whole, for making unexpected connections and waiting for the wild summer lightning strikes of inspiration -- it is, paradoxically, necessary to getting any work done.�

You are not a loser for taking it easy today. Relaxing doesn't make you a failure. You�re not less ambitious or boring or pathetic if you want to check out from the busy scene for an afternoon. And. Just. Do. Nothing.

You�re doing yourself (and the world) a much deserved favor.

Do you ever  feel pressure to fill your days with busyness?

Do you feel guilty or lazy when you aren�t busy? Like you should be finding something productive to do with your time?

Or do you consciously try to set aside time for just �being� instead of �doing?�